Ooooo...

Lily: I need pop!
Daddy: You don't need a pop.
Lily: PLEASE!
Daddy: No pop.
Lily: 2... 1... 2! You go TIME OUT!

Jealousy

Molly: Daddy, when Liam's mean to me, you don't have to punish him. He's just jealous of me, cuz he used to have everything to himself. And I'm fine with that!

Where ARE you?

"Wait, Lily, I need to find the plug for your computer." "PLUG? Where ARE you, plug? ... There plug!"

Cooking

I awoke to the worrisome smell of cooking. "Liam, did you cook something?" "Yeah, I made myself some biscuits and they were awesome!"

No ma'am!

I stood Lily on the table so I could get her dressed at eye level. She looked around, confused. "Stand table? No ma'am stand table!"

Surprise!

Lily accidentally smacks Mommy in the head with a LEGO helicopter. Lily, what do we say to Mommy? "Surprise! Weee!"

A pokey

Lily looks down at her dress. "A paya on it!" pointing to the flowers. "A pokey on it!" Pokey? She's pointing to the polka-dots.

Makeup!

Lily and I stopped at Walmart to get powder for Meg. Lily: "Mama, I comin'! I hab makeup! I hold it!"

Duh, Dad.

Liam noticed a new Endless Ocean game, "and this one's in Australia!" How does he know? "Duh... we don't have humpback whales around here."

Produce

Lily's observations from the produce section: Roma tomato = a grape, Avocado = a rock, Potato = a cheeseburger, Broccoli = a tree (obvious)

Doot doot hat

Molly put a Dora hat on Lily. I tried to put it back on the shelf. Lily: "No, Daddy! Not takey my doot doot hat!" Lily now owns a Dora hat.

Tattling

Meg: If this is more tattling, we are NOT going to the movies. Molly: It's not! It's not! I just wanted to tell you that I love ya'll. =)

Northern Elephant Seal

Liam: "And guess what else is cool about the Northern Elephant Seal! They can stay underwater for 90 minutes!"

The door is hidden.

Molly: "Look, I drew our house!" Dad: "What are these pink & blue dots?" Molly: "Those are the jewels. That's how you make the door appear."

Size doesn't matter

Liam: "Dad, I can't find it. Can you come look? You have bigger eyes."

I love irony.

Liam, following Molly's explanation of quadrilaterals: "Molly, D-U-E. Duh!"

Youtube star

Liam: Ugh, Lily has a diaper under her swimsuit? Mom: We don't want
her to poop in it! Liam: Yeah! Then we could put her on the internet!

Knock knock

Lily gets out of bed now, so instead of waking up and calling, she gets up and knocks on her bedroom door to be let out. It's ridiculous!

Not supposed to laugh

(Still playing Rock Band) Molly thought the We The Kings song was titled "Jackass Juliet." (Check Yes Juliet)

Rock Band

Molly (playing a family game of Rock Band): We're like a real band! Except we're just children.

Pickle tree

Molly: "If this pickle has seeds, and we plant them, we could have a pickle tree!"

Wee!

Lily grabbed her foot, pointed to her pinkie toe and said, "Wee wee, HOME!"

Ambu-phant?

Lily just responded to the question "Can you say 'ambulance?'" by
doing her elephant impression. Close enough, right?

Awesome.

Molly: "Dad, you're awesome. I hope you never die, cuz you're awesome."

BFFs

Molly: "Mom, you're my BFF!"

Hi!

To keep the soap out of her eyes, I told Lily to look "high to the
sky." She looked skyward, waved, and said "Hi!"

Cat bath

Mom: "Molly, don't lick tthe cat!"
Molly: "But I'm helping her to take a bath!"

Jehova's Witness

Molly: "Lucy [the dog] is a Jehova's Witness because she doesn't
celebrate anything."

Backwards

Lily said "Uh-oh," and THEN threw her cup on the ground. I guess we
need to teach her about cause and effect.

A real apology

Liam: "Molly sucks at reading!"
Dad: "Liam! Apologize!"
Liam: "Ugh. Sorry."
Molly: "It's ok, but that didn't SOUND like an apology."

At the park, playing in the sand. Molly: "Mama, Mama! Liam is making the Hoover Dam... and I'm writing my name with a stick!"

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Just right

Molly: "Me and the black-haired Brianna, we measured each other, and we're the right amount tall for each other."

Werewolves!

Molly, upon seeing the Firefox page instead of Barbie: "No, dad, I want Barbie.com, not WEREWOLF.COM!"

Daddy: "Molly, if I tell you NOT to do something, why would you do it anyway?"
Molly: "Because I embarrassed myself."

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Liam, watching the opening ceremonies: "India? That's the Colts. Well at least we won them."

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Don't worry

Liam: "Don't worry, Dad, the Saints always do better at the end."

Foot massage

I sat on the sofa in front of Molly, and she started rubbing my back with her feet. I asked her what she was doing. "Dad! I'm giving you a FOOT massage!"

Turtle twins

Molly: "Turtle twins" are twins, but they don't look EXACTLY alike.

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Midget power

In the new Mario games, there's a mini mushroom that makes you smaller. (You can float, run on water, etc.) Liam calls it "Midget Power."

Pientist

Molly says the main character on Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs is a Pientist "...because he's a scientist who makes food. Get it?"

Growing pains

Liam: "Dad, you said if I laid down, I'd get a little taller, but I've
been trying, and it's not working."

Androgenous

Molly was mistaken about the gender of her new friend, so Meg told her
to ask for a name and guess gender from that. Molly: "But it said its
name was..."