Liam, like most kids, thinks he gets a toy every time we walk in a store. Granted, we’ve supported that misconception to some extent over the years, but he still knows better. So in Wal-Mart today, as expected, he went about his normal routine of ‘please can I have something little?‘ At least he wasn’t being greedy.

Finally, I was sick of hearing it. I said, “Liam, shut up about the toy. You’re not getting a toy. You got those trains at Target earlier. I’m sick of hearing about toys.”

After a brief pause, he replied with, “Dad, after I shut up, can I have a toy?”

Liam’s aforementioned monkey has magnetic hands and feet, and he’s been having a blast discovering the wonders of magnetism. He sniffs out every bit of metal that no one knew was there for the purpose of hanging his monkey. No, that’s not a euphemism for anything.

This evening, while we were at Wal-Mart, he discovered that the monkey sticks to the car. I said, “Hey, wanna let him ride there all the way home?”

“Yeah!” was his reply, so I hated to break his heart by saying that “But he may not stick so good, and when we get home, he might be gone. And that would be sad, ’cause you’ve been having so much fun with him.”

That got him thinking. “Yeah, if he was gone, someone might say, ‘Hey, look, a monkey. Someone just left him here.’”

While I was washing Liam’s hair this morning, he looked at me and said, “Dad, zombies never clean their hair.”

We went to the zoo yesterday… The kids both brought home stuffed monkeys.

Liam laid his monkey down on the living room floor, and Molly didn’t want hers to feel left out, so he tucked hers in with his, Molly said, “Monkey? Fweep?” and they went on playing.

A few moments later, Liam said, “I’m gonna go check on the monkeys, see if they’re talking.” Then he walked around the chair to where they were, and said, “Stop talking, and GO to SLEEP!”

If that wasn’t funny enough, Molly had to follow up with, “Go FWEEP!”