Molly wants to be a boy so she can pee standing up. Dad wants to be a girl with long, pretty hair. "Yeah, 'cause you have short, ugly hair."

Liam wants to learn how to write in "curse-ed."

Poor Liam experienced his first data loss. He took his time making a creature in Spore, then the graphics driver died. Data loss at five

Molly was playing, not eating. Mom: "Molly, you have manners at Mrs. Lisa's; why can't you have manners at home?" Molly: "Thank you, Mommy!"

Recital practice. Dance teacher: "What do we not do on stage?" (Answer: "Run.") Molly: "We don't eat boogers!"

Liam: Dad, you haven't worn those pants in *years*!

Molly was under the trampoline after being told three times not to go there. "But I'm a cat, I don't remember. Me-ow, me-ow."

Too many Incredible Hulk commercials. Liam (to Molly): "Don't do that, you'll make brother angry. You won't like me when I'm angry."